Monday, November 26, 2007

Thoughts on "Believing God"

Where do I begin to share what the “Believing God” study did for me? Like one of the other women shared, there’s so much to say. After being involved with Women’s Bible studies for over 15 years, there has not been a study that has stretched my faith and given me new insight as this study has. God has completely humbled me in more ways than one. I am so humbled that He has allowed me to have this journey with so many other beautiful women and has allowed me to be used in this way to reach the hearts of women in such a powerful way – such a mighty way through this incredible study – to Him be all the glory. So many times I was brought to a place on my knees that God has never taken me before. Many things that have been engrained in my life, in my mind, have surfaced as such confusion at different points in my life. God has taken those and has given me new insight into the things that I’ve been taught from young up. It hasn’t all been bad. In days gone by, when I’ve looked at my past, my upbringing, I’ve often seen the bad – that is what has come to mind first and I’d have to search in my heart for the good. I’ve prayed for so long that I would be able to look at my past and God would show me the good things first, before the negative that would always seem to come to mind first. God changed that for me. The journey that He took me on to release so many hurts and mixed up concepts from my upbringing – God has done a wonderful thing and has shed light on the difficult challenges from back then. Praise God! Only God can take the bad and turn it into good that He can use to bring Him glory if we let Him.
When I was working through my timeline, which was the most difficult for me, God began showing me areas where He put Rocks of Remembrance for me. “Thus far the Lord has helped me” became such a real and transforming concept for me. It was no longer the pain/bad that was coming to mind, it was how God had put people in my life in a particular circumstance to pray for me and encourage me through the dark and difficult times. The dashes on my timeline became circles for Rocks of Remembrance that God had been there. Instead of seeing the confusion and the pain and hurt, I was seeing ROCKS of where God was present and active in my life – from birth on.
God has never promised that there wouldn’t be pain in our lives, He’s never said in His Word that life would be smooth sailing without any conflict. He promises though that He will be there through every step and He would always provide a way out of the pain and the hurt – and He would provide a way out of the temptation challenges as well – we just need to take that step of that open door rather than going through the door that always seems the easiest.
God is so good. He has taken so many things in our history, in the Bible, in the lives of those gone on before us, so many of the difficult challenges and hardships – and used them to help build character in us and in those who were going through challenges with me personally. He has taken them and has brought good out of each one and has transformed our minds and lives to be used for His glory rather than a life of ‘woe is me.’
God is teaching me that it is those circumstances in our lives and in the lives around us that those are the things that have built the character in us to transform us and for us to reflect the light of Jesus more – if we let it. Do the hardship and difficult periods in my life teach me to be better or bitter? Will I let those circumstances mold me into someone who my Lord can use and reach out to others or will I allow those circumstances to turn me into a bitter person that others see as a stumbling block and one who is just a whining and complaining over ‘woe is me’ and ‘oh, but you don’t know what I’ve had to go through or where I’ve come from.’ Those are big questions that I’ve been working on through this study. Will I believe God or simply believe in Him? Believing in Him is too easy but actually Believing God in everything is the greatest challenge.
One question that God has asked of me daily through the course of this study is – do I BELIEVE Him? Do I believe in the absolute truth of His Word and that He will guide me in the best route for me each day or will I rebell and go against Him and turn to the way that I see fit for myself or that the culture around says I am to take. These have been questions that I have been pondering for a very long time now.
Oh that I would allow God to teach me His ways and His Word – that I might have life and be set free. That I would allow my mind and my heart to be molded by the One who molded me in my mother’s womb. He sees the whole plan – He has seen my life plan since before I was born. I would be so foolish not to Believe Him! I don’t want to be foolish – I want to be wise. But I want to be wise with His wisdom, not the worlds or my own. O that my heart would remain open to His teachings and His leadings for the rest of my days. God, that my eyes would be opened to your truths and that I would be set free from this corrupted world’s way of thinking. That I would be continually willing to be transformed by the renewing of my mind through your Word and not be conformed to this worlds way of living. I want to be a different bird, Father. I want to fly a different flight than one who is continually confused by this worlds ways. I yearn to be wise beyond what my human mind can comprehend because I want my mind to be continually filled with your thoughts and your ways, O God. Take my hand and lead me every step of the way. I don’t care if others think I am weak and dependant. It is when I am weak that You Father are strong. I want my life to be completely dependant on You and Your Word – to guide me, to direct me, to give me wisdom and strength and courage and discernment. O Father that I would not be led astray by anything else around me but that I would be able to keep my heart, mind and soul focussed on You and my eternal destiny in You. No Lord, not that I want to be so heavenly minded that I am no earthly good, but that my mindset would be so trained on Your ways and thoughts that I would be fully equiped to reach out to those around me and to be an example for you that I would shed light upon the loved ones around me and on the challenging circumstances around my life each day. Father that I would be the salt, a flavor that would entice those that follow behind me. That I would walk beside those that are hurting and be their friend. That I would never put myself above and beyond anything that you do not want me to be. That my heart would be so in tune to yours that there would never be any more doubt or confusion about daily circumstances. God with all my heart I want to Believe that You are who You say You are – fully believe that You can do what You say you can do – to know that I am who You say I am and not listen to any of the lies around me – that I would continually know that I can do ALL things through Christ – and that through each day, I know with all my heart that Your Word is Alive and Active in me. O what freeing things those are Lord. I don’t want to be enslaved to the things of this world, but to live in the freedom that you have so freely given. Father I love you, I praise You, I adore You. Use me Lord, in any way that You see fit. I am Your servant.

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